Letting go is a challenge for people of our type. We want so much to fix things ourselves – in us – and others. That is why that first step, admitting our own powerlessness, is one of our biggest challenges. And that is why we continue to remind ourselves that we need to turn, not only our lives, but the lives of others, over to God. So today I will Let Go and Let God!
For many of us a practice of prayer does not come naturally. Yet, it is such a core part of the twelve step program that we are compelled to make it our practice. The eleventh step states “Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out”. And when we so pray, we are consistently encouraged by the results. Today I am determined to work a complete program and so – today, I will pray.
Part of our recovery involves sharing –
What we were like: Powerless over our emotions of depression, rage, or the like;
What happened: Discovered freedom through this program; and
What we are like now: In recovery one day at a time.
We discovered in the sharing that we helped not only others but ourselves. So – today I will share.
The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous states that some “are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which requires rigorous honesty. Their chances are less than average”. Honesty can be as much of a challenge while working the program as it was in the beginning. Many of us struggled to admit with “rigor” the seriousness of our addiction when we started the twelve-step program and many of us still find ourselves challenged to admit our stumbles and even relapses along the way. But having discovered freedom, I aspire to “trudge the Road of Happy Destiny”, and so – today, I will be honest.
I was able to find time for addictive activity. In recovery I will find time for healthy activity and – today I will exercise.
Meditation is challenge for many of us, both in method and time. But it is an encouraged practice in all of the twelve step programs and part of Step 11: “Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God..”. So I will learn and take time and – today I will meditate.
Seeking counsel from a sponsor, therapist, or trusted friend can be daunting for many of us but if we are humble enough to ask and desperate enough to receive, it can be life changing. God will do for us what we can’t do for ourselves, and often it starts by His speaking to us through others.
The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous declares: “Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path..” A path of working the 12 steps with a sponsor has proven to be the path thoroughly followed for many of us. Our next step may be to start the path, to start the next step, or to continue in a step. Wherever I may be in my journey – today I will continue – and take the next step.
I am one month into committing myself into working on my emotional sobreity and mental sanity. My sponsor convinced me of the hope and relief he had found in the 12 steps program, and I thought I’d give it a shot because I was quite desperate. I remember the desperation for a break as recently as 2 weeks ago, as I felt my world crumbling around me. It felt like I was running into a wall every direction that I turned.
After several hours of phone call conversations, reading and re-reading portions of the Emotions Anonymous book, being diligent in working one step at a time, praying every day, taking my thoughts captive, and constantly reminding myself of the promises of God and of the 12 steps program I can say I am equipped to use tools to achieve emotional sobreity.
There were several instances where I doubted the authenticity and self application of the program, a fear if it may not work for me, and the fear of committing to something I didn’t fully understand.
Two weeks later, however, I can say I am not desperate for a break, I am confident to face one day at a time, I find joy in the little things, and I can definitely sense a change in my surroundings that used to be highly stressful and triggering previously.
My depression is lifted, and I have hope.
I believe that it is my God who is doing for me what I cannot do for myself.
Today I will take time to reflect – where I have come from – where I am – and where I will go. An active addiction, substance or emotional, can consume most of our time with thoughts about trying to gain control over our addiction. In sobriety we find ourselves with time for thoughts and actions that we just didn’t have before. As we take time to reflect on our recovery we realize that instead of spending all of our time thinking about ourselves we have time to go to help another.
