I continue to work a 12 step program which freed me from depression nearly 10 years ago. Still I have found myself under extra stress the past few months and falling into some old unhealthy behavior patterns, i.e. cursing and self beratement. So I began seeing a therapist who suggested when an unpleasant feeling arises, e.g. feeling unsettled, that instead of launching into telling myself how inadequate and incompetent I am – redirect my mind to the sensation in my body, mentally name it, and breathe into the feeling. So this morning I woke up and had that sometime familiar feeling – unsettled. I remembered, and paused, and redirected my mind to the sensations in my body: knots in my stomach. I had never noticed that before. I just sat on the couch and breathed and felt those knots. During the day, as I felt uneasy at times, I just focused on those distinct but loosening knots, instead of experiencing an emotional outburst. Mid afternoon they dissipated altogether – and I became my old comfortable self again. So I am learning another tool in my program and will be ready to use it again.
